Healing Together: Journal Prompts for Navigating Triggers and Emotional Flashbacks as Couples and Parents

Life’s journey as a couple or a parent often brings moments of joy and connection, but it can also reveal emotional triggers and flashbacks rooted in past experiences. Survivors of childhood trauma are particularly vulnerable to these triggers. In relationships, we are required to engage in intimate ways on an ongoing basis. As parents, the constant physical and emotional demands of children can understandably trigger us into intense emotional flashbacks. These moments, while challenging, are opportunities for deeper understanding and healing when approached with intention, support and compassion.

Journaling is a powerful tool to process these emotions, fostering personal insight and strengthening bonds. Below are journal prompts specifically designed for couples and parents to explore their inner worlds and build resilience together.

For Couples

Amanda Curtin's RRP model has a specific method for couples refereed to as the "1-2-3 Process". It is crucial that couples who are childhood trauma survivors recognize how our triggers and emotional flashbacks impact on our relationships.

Prompt 1: Reflect on a recent trigger in your relationship.

Example: “During our disagreement about finances, I felt an overwhelming fear of being dismissed. This reminded me of how my opinions were often ignored in my childhood home.”

Being able to notice and share that you are triggered is a big step in the process of childhood trauma recovery and building intimacy and safety with your partner.

Prompt 2: Describe a time your partner supported you during an emotional flashback.

Example: “When I froze during the family gathering, you noticed my discomfort, squeezed my hand, and guided me outside. That moment reminded me that I’m not alone in this.”

If that has never happened, do not despair.

Through the process of increasing intimacy and permission to ask for what you need, you may be able to share with your partner how they can support you.

Prompt 3: What words or actions make you feel most emotionally safe?

Example: “Hearing you say, ‘I’m here for you’ and checking in with me regularly reassures me.”

Prompt 4: Think about a conflict you’ve had recently.

Example: “When you criticized my decision to work late, I felt defensive. I realize now this stems from feeling critized a lot as a child.”

For Parents

1. Write about a moment your child’s behavior triggered a strong emotional response.

Example: “When my child yelled, ‘I hate you!’ during a tantrum, I felt an intense wave of rejection. It reminded me of similar outbursts I faced as a child without any emotional support.”

2. Describe how you handled a recent parenting challenge.

Example: “Yesterday, when my toddler refused to share, I stayed calm and guided them to talk about their feelings. I was proud of my patience but wish I had validated their emotions more.”

3. Think about a value or lesson from your childhood you want to pass on.

Example: “My grandparents taught me the value of kindness through their actions. I want to model this by showing compassion to others, even during tough moments.”

4. Reflect on a time you felt overwhelmed as a parent.

Example: “Last week, juggling work and my child’s school project felt impossible. I realized I need to delegate more and prioritize self-care.”

5. Write a letter to your inner child.

Example: “Dear younger me, I see how hard it was for you to feel unseen. You deserved love and validation, and now, I’ll ensure I give those to myself and my children.”

Journal prompts can also help us focus on the hopes and aspirations we have for our relationships and families.

For Both Couples and Parents

1. Identify a family value or tradition you’d like to establish or strengthen.

Example: “I want us to have Sunday morning hikes as a family. It’s a way to bond, enjoy nature, and create lasting memories.”

2. Reflect on a time your family overcame a challenge together.

Example: “When we moved to a new city, we supported each other through the transition. It showed me how resilient we are as a team. As a kid my family were so disconnected. It was everyone for themselves."

3. Write about a goal you have for your relationship or family.

Example: “I want us to communicate more openly about our feelings. This week, I’ll suggest a weekly family check-in. It is a new experience for me to have a family where sharing feelings is encouraged since I did not grow up this way."

4. Describe what emotional safety means to you in your family dynamic.

Example: “It means knowing I can share my feelings without judgment and that we listen to each other with empathy. This is especially important to me since no one expressed feelings in the family I grew up in."

5. What does forgiveness look like in your family?

Example: “Forgiveness for me is about letting go of grudges and focusing on rebuilding trust. there is room for mistakes and apologies. I want to model this by apologizing openly to my kids when I make mistakes. Growing up, the adults in my life never took responsibility for anything

Closing Thoughts

Triggers and emotional flashbacks can feel overwhelming, but they also present opportunities for deeper connection and self-awareness. Through journaling, couples and parents can create a safe space to explore these emotions, fostering healing and growth both individually and together.

Take pride in the ways you are navigating your intimate relationships and raising a

family in ways that are different than the ways you were raised.

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