Childhood Trauma Healing:10 Practical Strategies for Managing Emotional Triggers and Flashbacks

Emotional triggers and flashbacks are not a choice for survivors of childhood trauma—they are involuntary responses that can feel overwhelming and disruptive, often impacting daily life and relationships.

Addressing the root causes of these reactions is essential for healing, and the Relationship Recovery Process, developed by Amanda Curtin, offers a therapeutic approach to deeply heal childhood wounds at the core of this suffering.

Alongside this healing journey, practical tools are vital for managing flashbacks as they occur.

Before delving into these strategies, it’s helpful to first understand the effects of Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) on the brain and nervous system.

This foundational knowledge can empower survivors to navigate their triggers with greater awareness and resilience.

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SKIP DOWN TO THE TOOLBOX SECTION, IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ THE EFFECTS OF c-PTSD ON THE BRAIN AND NERVOUS SYSTEM.

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Effects of C-PTSD on the Brain:

Daniel Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain 

Daniel Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry, developed the "hand model" of the brain to explain how the brain functions under stress. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gm9CIJ74Oxw :

Such a visual can clarify how these parts interact during stress and "flip the lid."

This simple and visual representation illustrates what happens during emotional dysregulation:

1. The Brain as a Hand:

   • Imagine your hand as your brain. The wrist and palm represent the brainstem, responsible for basic survival functions like breathing and heart rate.

   • Your thumb folded across the palm represents the limbic system, including the amygdala, which processes emotions and triggers the fight-or-flight response.

   • The fingers folded over the thumb represent the prefrontal cortex, the "thinking brain," responsible for reasoning, impulse control, and decision-making.

2. Flipping Your Lid:

   • Under stress or a trigger, the prefrontal cortex (fingers) "flips," disconnecting from

     the limbic system (thumb). This leaves the brain dominated by survival instincts and emotional reactivity, making it difficult to think clearly or regulate emotions.

3. Reconnecting the Brain:

   • The goal of regulation strategies is to "put the lid back on," re-engaging the prefrontal cortex to regain control over emotions and responses.

This model highlights why grounding, mindfulness, and other tools are essential—they help calm the limbic system and restore the connection with the prefrontal cortex.

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) often arises from prolonged or repeated exposure to traumatic events, particularly during formative years.

It profoundly affects the brain, particularly areas responsible for emotion regulation, memory, and the stress response.

Key regions affected include the amygdala (the brain's alarm system), the prefrontal cortex (responsible for reasoning and emotional regulation), and the hippocampus (involved in memory processing).

Trauma can lead to an overactive amygdala, an underactive prefrontal cortex, and a dysregulated hippocampus, making it difficult to stay grounded in the present moment and manage emotional reactions.

When individuals with C-PTSD face triggers—situations, sensations, or memories that remind them of past trauma—their brain may respond as if the threat is immediate.

This can push them out of their "window of tolerance," a concept introduced by Dr. Daniel Siegel. The window of tolerance represents the optimal zone of arousal where individuals can process emotions, think clearly, and respond effectively to challenges.

When inside the window of tolerance:

• You feel balanced and able to manage stress.

• Emotions are present but not overwhelming, allowing for rational thinking and decision-making.

When outside the window of tolerance, two primary responses occur:

• Hyperarousal: The fight-or-flight response, characterized by anxiety, anger, hypervigilance, a racing heart, and a feeling of being overwhelmed or out of control. In this state, the amygdala is overactivated, and the prefrontal cortex struggles to regain control.

• Hypoarousal: The freeze or shutdown response, marked by numbness, dissociation, lethargy, and feelings of disconnection or hopelessness. This state often involves a sense of emotional paralysis, where it feels difficult to engage with the world around you.

Understanding your window of tolerance helps you recognize when you are becoming dysregulated and guides you to use tools to return to balance.

By consistently practicing grounding techniques, mindfulness, and self-regulation strategies, you can work to expand your window of tolerance over time, increasing your capacity to handle stress and triggers.

Effects of C-PTSD on the Nervous System:

The Polyvagal Theory:

Understanding Dysregulation in Childhood Trauma Survivors Through Polyvagal Theory

Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, offers a powerful framework for understanding why survivors of childhood trauma often experience emotional dysregulation, hyperarousal, or hypoarousal.

The theory highlights the role of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) in our responses to safety and threat.

For survivors of childhood trauma, early experiences of danger, neglect, or instability can deeply disrupt the healthy development of the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which governs how the body responds to stress and maintains balance.

The ANS typically works to help us shift between states of safety, activation, and rest as needed, but trauma can throw this system off course.

A key player in the ANS is the vagus nerve, which helps regulate the parasympathetic branch—the system responsible for calming the body after stress.

In trauma survivors, repeated exposure to threatening or unsafe situations can cause the vagus nerve to become conditioned to prioritize survival responses over a state of regulation.

In essence, the nervous system becomes "wired" to stay on high alert for danger, even in situations that may no longer be threatening.

This conditioning often manifests in two distinct ways.

In some individuals, it results in a heightened fight-or-flight response, also known as hyperarousal.

This state is characterized by feelings of anxiety, constant vigilance, emotional reactivity, or even physical tension.

The body and mind are prepared to face danger, even when no immediate threat exists.

For others, the nervous system may instead default to a state of hypoarousal, or shutdown, when stress becomes overwhelming.

This is the body’s way of conserving energy and protecting itself by "numbing out" or disconnecting from a painful experience.

In this state, individuals may feel emotionally detached, dissociated, physically fatigued, or completely unmotivated.

Over time, the chronic activation of these survival states—whether hyperarousal or hypoarousal—makes it difficult for trauma survivors to access what Polyvagal Theory calls the "social engagement system."

This is a state in which the nervous system is regulated, allowing for connection with others, emotional balance, and the ability to feel safe in the world.

Without consistent access to this state, survivors often struggle with relationships, learning, and managing emotions.

Polyvagal Theory helps us understand these responses as the body’s adaptive attempts to survive under adverse conditions.

By recognizing the impact of trauma on the nervous system, we can approach healing with greater compassion and focus on creating safe, supportive environments that encourage co-regulation, emotional repair, and the gradual restoration of nervous system balance.

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Toolbox of Skills for Managing Emotional Flashbacks and Dysregulation

Categorizing Tools for Hyperarousal and Hypoarousal

Grounding and regulation techniques can be tailored to address specific states of dysregulation.

The tools listed below are categorized, where applicable, according to their effectiveness for addressing hyperarousal or hypoarousal.

1. Grounding Techniques

Frequently, when trauma is triggered, we mentally "time travel".

Trauma and stress lack a sense of time, so when they are activated, parts of us revert to the past or leap to the future, imagining a series of "what if's?".

Grounding assists in reconnecting you to the present moment and your body.

Various techniques may be more effective depending on whether you're experiencing hyperarousal or hypoarousal:

• For Hyperarousal:

  • 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Identify five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. For instance, during a flashback, look around the room and name five objects, then touch a textured surface

    nearby to refocus.

  • Body Awareness: Focus on sensations that anchor you. For example, press your feet firmly into the ground or clench and release your fists to discharge excess energy.

  • Breathing Exercises: Techniques like box breathing (inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts) or extended exhales (inhale for 4 counts and exhale for 6-8 counts) can reduce a racing heart and anxiety.

  • Paired Muscle Relaxation: Practice tensing your muscles as you breathe in for 5 to 6 seconds. Notice that feeling. Then relax them as you breathe out.

• For Hypoarousal:

  • Body Awareness: Focus on re-engaging with your body. For instance, gently tap your arms or legs or rub your hands together to stimulate sensation.

  • Engaging the Senses: Use invigorating smells like peppermint, focus on vibrant colors in your surroundings, or taste something tangy or spicy to promote alertness. For example, keep a small vial of peppermint oil to sniff when feeling dissociated.

  • Movement and Exercise: Gentle movement, such as rolling your shoulders, practicing yoga poses, or taking a short walk, can help reawaken the body and mind.

  
  

  
  

2. Self-Soothing

These practices engage your senses to promote calmness:

• Touch: Hold a comforting object, like a soft blanket or a smooth stone, when feeling overwhelmed. For example, carrying a small object in your pocket can serve as a quick grounding tool.

• Smell: Use calming scents like lavender or chamomile. Light a scented candle or keep a small vial of essential oil to inhale during stressful moments.

• Sound: Listen to soothing music, nature sounds, or white noise. Create a playlist of calming songs to use as needed.

3. Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness helps increase awareness of the present moment without judgment:

• Practice mindful breathing or a body scan meditation. For example, spend five minutes focusing on the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your nostrils.

• Do a body scan. A body scan is a mindfulness meditation practice involving scanning your body for pain, tension, or anything out of the ordinary. It can help you feel more connected to your physical and emotional self.

• Use guided meditations or mindfulness apps to build a daily practice. Try setting aside a few minutes each morning to center yourself.

4. Movement and Exercise

Movement can be highly effective for emotional regulation, but the type of movement

matters depending on whether you are experiencing hyperarousal or hypoarousal:

• For Hyperarousal: Vigorous activities like running, dancing, jumping jacks, or punching a pillow can help release excess energy and tension. For example, if you feel agitated or anxious, try a fast-paced run or a quick set of jumping jacks to expend nervous energy.

• For Hypoarousal: Gentle, mindful movement such as slow stretches, yoga poses (like child’s pose or cat-cow), or tai chi can help reawaken and re-engage the body. For instance, practice a series of gentle forward folds and spinal rolls to bring yourself back into awareness and combat feelings of numbness or lethargy.

  
  
  
  

5. Journaling and Creative Arts

Writing can help process emotions and identify patterns:

• Keep a "trigger journal" to track what events or sensations lead to flashbacks. For instance, note the time, place, and feelings experienced after encountering a specific trigger.

• Write affirmations or reminders of safety and resilience. An example might be: "I am safe now, and I have the tools to handle this moment."

• Use art to express your feelings, for example, though drawing, painting or use of other mediums.

7. Connection with Others

Social support is a vital resource:

• Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. For instance, call a friend and share how you’re feeling to release some of the emotional burden.

• RRP groups (Relationship Recovery Process) create a safe space to ask for and receive support. Sharing your story and hearing others’ can help reduce feelings of isolation

8. Visualizations

Imagining a safe space or positive imagery can soothe the nervous system:

• Create a mental "safe place" you can retreat to when feeling overwhelmed. For example, imagine a peaceful beach or a cozy cabin in the woods, visualizing every detail.

• Visualize yourself as strong, resilient, and capable of handling difficult emotions. Picture yourself overcoming challenges and thriving.

9. Healthy Routines

Consistency provides stability for the nervous system:

• For Hyperarousal: Calming evening routines can help soothe the nervous system. For example, include activities like dimming the lights, listening to soft music, or practicing a guided meditation before bed to signal the body it’s time to relax.

• For Hypoarousal: Stimulating morning routines can energize and engage the body and mind. For instance, include invigorating practices like a brisk walk, a cold shower, or listening to upbeat music to jumpstart the day.

Healthy routines create a predictable rhythm that supports emotional balance and resilience.

Consistency provides stability for the nervous system:

• Maintain regular sleep, eating, and exercise habits. For example, go to bed and wake up at the same time each day to support your body’s internal clock.

• Create a calming morning and evening routine. For instance, start the day with deep breathing and end it by journaling or listening to calming music.

10. Pete Walker's 13 Strategies for Managing Flashbacks

Pete Walker, a renowned psychotherapist specializing in Complex PTSD, outlines 13 strategies to handle emotional flashbacks. These strategies are practical and compassionate, aimed at grounding yourself during intense emotional episodes:

1. Say to Yourself: "I Am Having a Flashback"

   • Recognizing a flashback is the first step to regaining control. For example, remind yourself that the intense feelings are rooted in the past and not the present.

2. Remind Yourself: "I Am Safe Now"

   • Affirm your current safety. For instance, repeat: "I am in a safe place, and I am protected from harm."

3. Reassure Your Inner Child

   • Speak kindly to your inner child. For example: "I see you. I’m here to protect and care for you."

4. Deconstruct Helplessness

   • Identify ways to empower yourself. For instance, focus on small actions you can take to feel more in control, like grounding exercises or journaling.

5. Remind Yourself That Feelings Are Temporary

   • Repeat: "These feelings will pass. I have survived this before, and I will again."

6. Be Curious, Not Critical

   • Observe your emotions without judgment. For example, notice where you feel the tension in your body and describe it without labeling it as “good” or “bad.”

7. Ease Back Into Your Body

   • Reconnect with your body through grounding techniques. For instance, place a hand on your heart and focus on its warmth.

8. Seek Comfort Through Connection

   • Reach out to someone you trust. For example, call a friend or share your feelings with a supportive partner.

9. Speak Your Truth

   • Express your feelings out loud. For instance, say: "I feel afraid and overwhelmed, but I know this will pass."

10. Create Boundaries

    • Protect your energy by setting limits. For example, say no to activities or interactions that feel draining.

11. Cultivate Self-Compassion

    • Remind yourself that it’s okay to struggle. For example, affirm: "I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough."

12. Visualize Your Safe Place

    • Imagine a place where you feel secure and at peace. For example, picture a serene beach or a quiet forest.

13. Practice Gratitude

    • Focus on small things you appreciate. For instance, list three things you’re grateful for, such as a kind friend or a sunny day.

A Path to Healing and Empowerment

Healing from childhood trauma is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and resilience.

Learning to manage emotional triggers and flashbacks is part of that journey.

Each strategy you practice is an act of self-care and empowerment.

Remember, your trauma does not define you—it is a chapter of your story, not the whole book.

With dedication, support, and the right tools, you can move from merely surviving to thriving.

Every small victory, every moment of calm,

is a testament to your strength and capacity for growth.

Healing is not linear, but it is possible.

You are not alone in this journey, and each step forward brings you closer to the peace, joy, and freedom you deserve.