Questions Survivors of Childhood Trauma Need to Ask: Am I Having an Emotional Flashback?

Emotional Flashback vs. Normal Emotional Response: How to Tell the Difference

Have you ever felt an emotional reaction so intense that it left you wondering, "Was my reaction about what just happened, or something else?"

Differentiating between an emotional flashback and a normal emotional response can be confusing, but it's an important step toward understanding and healing childhood trauma.

Imagine this:

You told your boss that a report she requested would be ready in a few days. Then, several coworkers called in sick, and your boss asked if you could step in and handle some of their most pressing tasks.

You took on the extra workload, your boss appreciated your efforts, and you received positive feedback.

A few days later, she sent you an email asking about the status of the report.

You felt shocked and betrayed.

How could she not recognize that you were overwhelmed with the extra work she assigned? You struggled to find the words to respond and felt paralyzed by your emotions.

Was this intense reaction an emotional flashback, or was it a normal response to a frustrating situation?

What Is an Emotional Flashback?

An emotional flashback is a sudden, intense emotional reaction triggered by something in the present that echoes past traumatic experiences. Survivors of childhood trauma are most often triggered to an emotional state, or a feeling, rather than to a specific memory. These reactions are often disproportionate to the current situation because they are rooted in unresolved trauma from childhood.

Here are some key characteristics of emotional flashbacks:

• Intensity: The emotions feel overwhelming and difficult to manage.

• Familiarity: The feelings may echo past situations where you felt similarly unappreciated, powerless, or betrayed.

• Physical Symptoms: You might feel panicked, frozen, or unable to articulate your emotions.

• Disconnected Context: The emotional response seems larger than what the current situation warrants.

In this scenario, feeling shocked, used, and betrayed might suggest that your reaction is tied to past experiences, most often from childhood, when you were unrecognized or undervalued.

If the emotions were so overwhelming that you couldn’t respond to your boss, it could be an emotional flashback.

It's crucial to highlight that experiencing an emotional flashback to childhood wounds is not a decision; it occurs naturally. There is no shame or blame associated with having a flashback or being triggered.

What Is a Normal Emotional Response?

A normal emotional response is a reaction that aligns with the current situation and its context.

These feelings, while sometimes strong, are proportional to what is happening in the moment and don’t have the lingering intensity of a flashback.

Characteristics of a normal emotional response include:

• Proportionality: The emotions match the scale of the event.

• Contextual Awareness: You understand why you’re feeling the way you do, and it’s tied to the present moment.

• Manageability: The feelings, while perhaps unpleasant, are not overwhelming or paralyzing.

In this case, feeling frustrated or disappointed with your boss’s lack of awareness about your workload would be a normal response.

However, if those feelings escalated to an unmanageable intensity, it might indicate a flashback.

Key Differences

• Intensity: Emotional flashbacks are often overwhelming, while normal responses, while uncomfortable, are easier to process.

• Connection to the Past: Flashbacks evoke unresolved feelings from childhood, while normal responses are rooted in the present.

• Clarity: During a flashback, it’s harder to articulate your emotions or see the situation clearly. Normal responses allow for clearer thinking and communication. We can feel our feelings and act at the same time.

In the scenario above, your intense feelings of shock and betrayal might have stemmed from past experiences in childhood when your parents did not see you or appreciate what you tried to do for them.

Maybe you were put in the role of parenting them, which was an impossible task to succeed at.

Maybe you suffer from a deep pain of feeling unappreciated or overlooked.

These unresolved emotions could amplify your reaction to your boss’s request.

On the other hand, if you were simply stressed by the extra workload and upset about the oversight, your response could fall within the range of a normal emotional reaction.

Practical Tips for Differentiating When faced with strong emotions, ask yourself these questions:

• Does this feel familiar? Are the emotions reminiscent of something from my past?

• Is the reaction proportionate? Does the intensity match the present situation, or does it feel excessive?

• Can I articulate my feelings? If you struggle to name or explain your emotions, it could indicate a flashback.

Strategies for Grounding Yourself:

1. Pause and Breathe: Take deep breaths to calm your body’s stress response.

2. Reality Check: Remind yourself of where you are and what’s happening in the moment.

3. Seek Support: Experiential therapies such as RRP (Relationship Recovery Process), developed by Amanda Curtin, are designed to help survivors of childhood trauma repair childhood wounds and recovery from trauma.

   
   

   It’s understandable to feel confused when emotions run high. By reflecting on your responses and learning to identify patterns, you can start to differentiate between emotional flashbacks and normal reactions. Whether your feelings stem from the past or the present, they are valid—and understanding them is the first step toward managing them effectively.